Recognizing & Seeking Help for Children with Disabilities!

Recognizing and Seeking Help for Children with Disabilities

Deneale K. Williams, Yahoo Contributor Network
May 23, 2008

Children are our future, and for most of us, they are our reason for being. But when your child, starts having difficulties in school, you start to worry. Sometimes you wonder if you did something wrong, and other times you even tend to over react, and run to the doctor. But in many cases, if your child has any kind of continuous difficulties, you as the parent, know it more so, then anyone, because you live with that child every minute of every day.

 

When the Teacher calls you, explaining your child doesn't seem to want to learn, or has no interest, it could be many things. Don't always jump to conclusions. After all, they claim Albert Einstein couldn't even tie his shoes. There is a possibility you could have a genius on your hands. And then there are rare cases, where your child is just more casual or slower at the desired ability to learn; then others.

However, they do claim it to be easier to teach our children almost anything- the younger they are. Children want to interact, and as long as you are paying attention to them, they will do whatever it takes to keep your attention on them, and them alone. Including reciting ABCs, and counting!
But again, every child is different. Just like anyone, and anything- no two are a like in every aspect of the way-no, not even twins.

It is when the phone calls from the Teacher start coming that your child is beating up others for no apparent reason, that you might want to pay attention more closely. Some preschools, and day cares, offer two way mirrors, so you can see in, but your child cannot see out. This is when you need to do your home work.

The reason is say this, is in preschool, day care, and maybe first and second grades-give your child the benefit of the doubt with their learning skills. But if violence becomes an issue, you want to:

one-nip this in the bud, and
two- find out what is making your child act out with said violence.

Sometimes the two go hand in hand. Other children- no matter what age, will pick on others that stutter when they read, or don't even bother to read. If your child isn't learning and isn't seeming to want to learn, and lashes out with violence, then this is where you need to start paying more attention, discreetly of course. However, on the same hand, yes you need to ask your child a few questions. "What is making you so angry?" Yes, it will seem like you are trying to play psychiatrist, but it all starts with you, and your home life. If the fact that your child cannot do something, such as reading or writing, or even math, then there is a possibility the two go hand in hand. And if the other children are in fact, making fun of your child- first thing I advise, is tutoring and working with your child one on one. If you cannot take time from work, School, or whatever it is that you do- you can easily hire someone. (On a more different subject here- please do thorough back ground checks when hiring help for your child.)

Once you or a tutor have started working with your child one on one, and you see, and hear, you will know if you need to advance onto help else where. This will help you as an insider to see if your child might have a learning disorder. If you feel you need advise, or help, you can easily go to the school counselor for help. They have a test, which can be given to your child to see if your child is academically inclined, or challenged.

Before I continue, something helpful I later learned, going through this on my own, was that if the parents one, or both had any kind of learning disability, chances are high that one or more children will have it as well. And no, I am not trying to blame the parents, and try to shift you into a fear scenario. It isn't something to pawn off blame, and regret. This is a normal every day thing, but back when I was a child, I was passed off as a trouble maker, or problem child. No one looked into it any further.

You see, when I was a child in the eighties, A.D.D. (Attention Deficit Disorder) and A.D.H.D. (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) were not known, or made known to the public. And when we would get hyper, or violent, we were severely punished, and reprimanded and nothing was looked into, as I stated above. No one put two and two together, no one cared about your up bringing, and no one thought that your inability to do math, or read so great, was causing you to lash out. Today is much different. And sadly, you hear some people say, yes, and we are using it as a crutch, or excuse. It isn't true, it's just that as we as humans grow and age and educate ourselves, science actually finds out why and puts things into perspective for us.

On a more personal note, my husband is a whiz at math, and has troubles with reading. I on the other hand, am the opposite. I hate and have troubles with math, and love to read and write. We have had five wonderful children, four boys and one girl. Two of our children have S.L.D. known as Slow Learning Disorder. One of these same two, has A.D.D. and the other has A.D.H.D. Now don't get me wrong, we do think that the older two, might have had a few disorders themselves too, but at that point and time, no one did their home work to help, even though I did bring it to the schools attention.
Science is not a miracle solution, and it doesn't always have all of the answers. But it can help guide you, and help you to help yourself and your child.

One thing that you need to do, is research, because there are many kinds of disabilities your children can have. And with each one, there are ways to handle them, and help them. You just need to recognize them. And if you want help, ask your doctor, or health care provider, as well as the School.
Mind you, with the School system- they are not always all willing and ready to jump through hoops for you, this we personally learned the hard way. In Ohio, we brought things to the attention of counselors and teachers.

Doctors were currently concerned and running tests too. But the School was holding us back, and not co-operating, to say the least. Then we moved here to Florida, where everyone warned me sarcastically, "You thought your kids were slow now, moving down South, they're going to be even slower. The Northern Schools are well more advanced. You'll see!" Low and behold, day two of our Children being in the Florida Schools, and Teachers had phoned home requesting conferences. Since we were new to the area, my husband and I both attended, and introduced ourselves. Within minutes, several teachers brought to our attention that our Children needed moved into the "slow" classes, and that they needed help. We didn't tell the School, didn't tell the teachers, the Teachers in two days time, figured it out- on their own. Now tell me, Southern Schools are lousy. This is where I beg to differ!!

That is why I am saying, it takes time to get the help, and recognize your Child's problems. It takes help, encouragement, and love. You will eventually be led to the right person or place.
Now to further help you, I want to help you to recognize the signs, or symptoms. But be forewarned, every Child is different, and the Child may not even show any of these signs or symptoms, and then again, the Child could show several. Here they are:

The Reading Disorder: This is when your Child is learning at a much slower or lower level then his or her age group. Sometimes they will read slowly, and then sometimes they will not even be able to tell you what they just read. You may have heard of dyslexia. Sometimes Children with reading disorders confuse words, or change them into other words, and sometimes even read and see what they want-especially if the book has pictures, they will try to put two and two together, rather then read.
The Mathematics Disorder: Sometimes the Child will be unable to read the numbers, add, subtract, borrow, and divide, and even multiply. Or maybe even; only one thing will be a hang up for them. Sometimes, as with words, they may read the numerals backwards. There are also times, where there are children that will be able to do the math, but not be able to tell you how or what it is that they did.

The Writing Disorder: Sometimes the Child may right off the bat, have very poor writing skills, but not always. Other things include the ability to write a paragraph, sentence or phrase to make it make sense, even when it is being read to them, or on a piece of paper beside them. They will have difficulty learning and understanding a noun from a verb, punctuation and common ways to write what is spoken.

Attention Deficit Disorder and/or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: The inability to sit still, or for long periods of time. Also, things such as inattentiveness, and hyperactivity. Children with this, have to learn, usually with the helps of medications, and practice as they grow older, how to help control these disabilities. Adults who have this, and have just learned they have it, most likely had it as a child as well. With this disability, you cannot sit still for long periods of time, go from project to project, and in some cases, lash out on and about things that most of us would not. These disabilities are not one in the same, but close.

The Hyperactivity one, most say is the more worst one to have. But again, this all depends on the individual. You can have a mixture of both of these disabilities, as they do have different types and variations. Your Doctor can further and better explain this to you. Also let it be known, that people with these disorders, commonly have the inability to fall asleep, and then there are rare cases, where some sleep when bored. But for the most part, getting tired and falling asleep, is something commonly found in these characteristics. Also there are rare cases of anger, sometimes even extreme; with these disabilities.

Children with these disabilities, when trying to learn, or even understand- will become frustrated. They may want to try, and more then likely it will seem no matter what, it just doesn't sink in. And yes, making what they have learned stay in their brains, train of thought, is also a disability. Because you see, these disabilities are in the brain, and parts of the brain are obviously not functioning properly.

The easiest ways to distinguish if your Child has a learning disability or disorder is simply by recognizing if they have trouble telling right from left, if they reverse letters and or numbers, and if they are incapable of following directions. Not to mention, the way they read, and write, and interact with others. This is why, in order to be properly diagnosed, you will need to be involved, because you as the parent will be asked questions, which will help the Professional figure out what is wrong. And to you, it may seem of the wall to want to know, "How soon your Child learned to use the bathroom without help, and when their first word was, as well as what it was." The Professional will need your input all the way through, and sometimes even into the pregnancy as well as your own Childhood. So stay focused, and stay involved.

Last but not least, there are treatments for these disorders. These, your Doctor will discuss with you, which one may be better for your Child. And once treatment is being done, you will still need to watch, because not all treatments work the same for everyone. You will need to take notes, and pay close attention. For each disorder, there may be a treatment more relevant. But in order to initiate the proper treatment, your families medical History will need be provided, as well as goals, procedures, and therapies. It will also depend on your Child's age, the specific type of disorder, and the extent of the disorder. When being issued new medications, there are always concerns of allergy, but that isn't all. It may or may not be effective, and it may not do what you had hoped. There is also an adjustment time with these medications. That is why I say to you, to watch, learn and take notes. I also advise researching your Child's disability, along with the medications. Know what it is inside and out.

And yes, in case you are wondering- there are people out there who refuse to put their Children on medication. And there are those who believe you can teach or retrain the mind to settle down, slow down, and calm down. Some people feel the medications for these disabilities, are an upper and/or a downer. Personally, because as I have explained- I have been down this road-I have tried the medications. My Son, became a walking zombie. And the sad part, is the School preferred him like this, so that they could attend to other Children and ignore my Son. By choice, through a long discussion with the Doctor, Counselor (not the School's) and my Spouse, as well as my Son and his siblings, we all felt it best to try an alternative approach. We took my Son off the medications, (which caused us further problems coming off of them.) and taught him, as if like a dog, to calm down, slow down, and sit still by speaking calmly to him. He struggled at first, but later learned on his own, how to calm himself when he was away from us. Yes, there are people with worse situations, a very angry child, a violent one, and what not. It also depends on the time you have on your hands, the willingness to work with your Child, and learning. I spent years learning all I could, that is how I can write this article. From experience first hand! You must always remember, for every ailment, every disability, every flaw in a person, you can adjust, help, and encourage. There are things that can be done- for the most part. You also have to keep the Doctor in the loop, you may find you and your family need counseling to adjust, and you must take notations, and learn along with these disabilities and disorders. As a parent, you are the main teacher, and educator. Don't just give medications and walk away satisfied. Watch, learn and listen. Nothing is perfect, and the cure won't be permanent either. Some prescriptions get recalled, some get adjusted, some don't work, and then they make new ones. And let's not forget, after sometime on one medication, your body can become immune to it. Take every precaution, and always be aware!

And as you are reading this, and if you are wondering if you are to blame, and if there was a way this could be avoided- know this: no one is to blame. But, it is best to have learned and recognized the problems as early as possible.

Children with disabilities can still grow up, become famous, and amount to anything their little heart desires. This is not the end of the World, and in the end, you and your Child- will be grateful you did discover it, because there are places in the World that can help. There are classes in most Schools, to help and give your Child one on one, and most of all- there is you.

Also, before I close. Let it be known, that Adults can also have these disabilities. Not just from Childhood either. However, chances are high that these disabilities, or disorders, which ever phrase you prefer, did in fact come from their Childhood as well.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I wrote this because if I had trouble getting help, and seeing what was wrong- then there are probably others out there too. What I wrote, was from me, and no one else. I wrote from my own knowledge base of what I went through with my Children. Once it was finally discovered, I then learned and educated myself further on the disabilities, and have since helped others to recognize problems and concerns. I am not a medical professional, and never claimed to be one. I am simply experienced at this, as per my article states; seek the help of your health care provider or Counselors, to further assist you on this matter.

Published by Deneale K. Williams

Poem: Children!

CHILDREN!

Deneale K. Williams, Yahoo Contributor Network
Sep 25, 2008

I originally wrote this one November 18, 1993.
I decided it was time to share it with the public.

Nine months you carry this baby inside you,

Each time is different, the experience you go through.

There's a love inside as you feel it grow,

And on the outside as you begin to show!

All kinds of things to change around,

Mood swings from up to down!

When the time has come to push and shove,

It's a pain you have, but grow to love!

You sweat, moan, and often cry;

Sometimes the pain is so bad, you just want to die!!

Then finally when the baby is there,

So small, so beautiful- a love to share!

I know, I've had five, one girl and four boys,

They give my life meaning and even joys.

I've often wondered how I've lived through the pain;

Then I remember- the love that I've gained!

I've tried five times, then finally a girl,

Now she makes all of us whirl!

Now I intend to spend my life watching them grow,

Listening, learning to life's new shows!

Children are a piece of love,

Fitting in life, like a mitten or glove.

I'll never regret these lives I have shared,

Carried inside, a life never spared!

Published by Deneale K. Williams

My Insight on Dahmer, the Video

Deneale K. Williams, Yahoo Contributor Network
Jul 18, 2007

 

I have decided to do my video analysis on Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer.

 

The reason for my choosing him as my video analysis is quite simple, and before you assume, I will explain. 

 

I have always thought of Jeffrey Dahmer as a very honest person, when asked questions he answers them, and he always accepts all blame, and never blames the way he is on his parents. 

 

The other reasons are because he lived around me, in Ohio, and it became familiar with me, because it was always in the News Papers. 

 

A lot of people think that if you believe or support, or even understand Dahmer, that you are a hater of gays. That is not true with me; in fact it is farthest from my reasoning in trying to understand the man, the person behind the crime.

 

Now let me tell you about the video titled "Dahmer" that portrays the life of this man. This man was a cannibal. The video portrays him as having family, and parental problems. When in fact, the interviews by Newscasters, and TV personalities Dahmer answered questions and point blankly said his parents didn't make him this way, and that he did not have an abusive childhood. The man continued to state that he was a loaner and that God had in fact led him to believe to focus on the gay men of society, as they were a danger. Dahmer admitted also in interviews that he had a taste and desire for human bodies.

The video plays out on this man being gay himself, having parental problems, and as being a complete and total basket case. Admittedly, yes, being a cannibal turns one's stomach. But in all reality, many native tribes have survived on eating other humans. How they did it, or why, is not known. They may have murdered the people, or ate them as soon as they died; no one is certain. I am not condoning this in any way shape or form. The cannibalism is not the problem with Dahmer, murdering people is. You may say, or think they go hand in hand, and that is your choice. But the true crime here is murder.

For years Dahmer survived on human flesh, and hid body parts in his freezer, and anywhere else he could find. When he was in Ohio, Dahmer hid the pieces and parts of the bones buried in the yard. This too, was public knowledge, because he later admitted to it.

In Nineteen eighty six, Dahmer was arrested for Lewd and Lascivious behaviors for urinating in front of children. He spent ten months in jail. In Nineteen ninety one, Milwaukee police saw a dazed man stumbling toward them, he had handcuffs on one wrist. The man informed them that Dahmer had tried to kill him. So they investigated it, to find Polaroid's of body parts, and mutilated corpses. In his freezer were lungs and various other body parts, which Dahmer said to the officers, that he was saving to eat later. At that time, there was also a head in the refrigerator and various other body parts all over, in total the Police claim to have found eleven bodies around this vicinity. Dahmer himself confessed to killing seventeen. He stood trial and was convicted on seventeen counts of murder, necrophilia and cannibalism. On November twenty eighth, Nineteen ninety four, Dahmer was attacked and killed in Prison.
 
You want to know something that I was surprised and learned in this video. I was surprised how the video perpetrates him, blaming his parents, his Grandmother, and the whole nine yards. Dahmer chose to drink heavily, no one forced him. He craved the taste for human flesh, no one trained him, to force him to eat and or like it. The video makes him out to be gay, but Dahmer never admitted to being gay, he did however claim as he was being questioned that he knew they were a danger to society, that God had told him to use them for his cravings.

Yes, I admit I think he needed counseling, and proper teaching. Maybe his parents were in fact distant with him, maybe the fact that they divorced, made him feel guilty, or the cause- that is in fact common among children of divorcees. Before we could further investigate Dahmer, learn from him, do more research, and what not; another prisoner choose to end Dahmer's life.
 
Rumor has it, that many inmates wanted Dahmer gone and out of there, because they didn't want to be his next meal ticket, and they didn't want an alleged "fag" around them. I feel Dahmer was misunderstood, all through his life, and yes the video does represent that this was fact. I happen to agree with that factor, just not how the video portrays and points you to think and lay blame.
You also want to know how this video relates to our class and real life. I can tell you, no one likes cannibalism, and or they don't understand it. It is thought of being gross, and yes- I agree. Dahmer woke a lot of people up, when he was discovered and found out to be a true criminal. He had been a lot of places, and there were traces of him and what he had done through out.

One thing that always makes me think, when it comes to criminals, is their stupidity. How could he or anyone else think, that they wouldn't eventually get caught? He left evidence in plain sight, he was not organized, he was not careful. He didn't think before he acted, and sometimes I wonder if he, and any other criminal for that matter-want caught.

Because they cannot stop on their own recognizance. Dahmer was extremely careless, and that was because he point blank- did not care.

Inside of every criminal there is or was at one time, a real person. The key is to find out what went wrong, and try to fix it. Yes, I am certain that there are times and places, where fixing may not be possible. As with Manson, he admitted- let him out, and he will do it all over again. At least he was honest. That's more then you can say for most criminals.

Here is the list of the murders caused by Dahmer. And in my honest opinion, I think this list is incomplete. I have always thought that there were others. How could the man possibly remember every person? Especially if he was insane? Anyway, here is the list of his victims:

Victims:

• Jun 1978 - Stephen Hicks
• Sep 1987 - Steven Toumi
• Oct 1987 - Jamie Doxtator
• Mar 1988 - Richard Guerrero
• Feb 1989 - Anthony Sears
• Jun 1990 - Eddie Smith
• Jul 1990 - Ricky Beeks
• Sep 1990 - Ernest Miller
• Sep 1990 - David Thomas
• Feb 1991 - Curtis Straughter
• Apr 1991 - Errol Lindsey
• May 1991 - Tony Hughes
• May 1991 - Konerak Sinthasomphone
• Jun 1991 - Matt Turner
• Jul 1991 - Jeremiah Weinberger
• Jul 1991 - Oliver Lacy
• Jul 1991 - Joseph Bradeholt

References:

"Dahmer" the video a Peninsula films production. Rated R 102 minutes long

Published by Deneale K. Williams

 

Trick~or~Treat a Safety Guide for Children!

Trick-or-Treat Safety Guide for Children

 

Deneale K. Williams, Yahoo Contributor Network
Oct 1, 2007

It's that time of year again! Trick-or-treat!

  In my neighborhood, no matter who or what you try to get "going," it just doesn't happen. People send flyers for a neighborhood bash, and nothing happens. Not even the one who sent the flyer was seen participating. Send out flyers for a neighborhood sale, and no one has time. Send out a flyer asking neighbors to turn on their porch lights for Halloween, and not a light is lit the night of trick-or-treating.

 

Before you ask, there are a lot of kids in this neighborhood. A lot of people of various ages, and ethnicity.

So we take our trick-or-treating elsewhere.

Here are a few tips I have to share with you, to help you in your holiday venture this Halloween:

 

1. Do not eat candy as you are trick-or-treating. If you want to eat candy then bring some from home, rather than those supplying it, bring along your own. This was you know you are safe.
2. Inspect all candies when you get home. If the packages are torn open, throw them away. If it is fruit or vegetables, "some" local hospitals will X-ray them for you. Otherwise, you might want to consider throwing them away. Check this out with your local Hospital, and "sometimes" they even do it for free!!
3. If you have any doubt what so ever, trash it, don't take any chances.
4. Only go to neighborhoods you know, or people you know-this in itself will prevent any problems.
5. Have members of your family give out candy to your children, call them in advance and set it up. Then go visit your family members around town, showing off your costumes, and getting candy that will not be tainted.
6. If worse comes to worse, go to the store and buy a bunch of various bags of candy, and give it to your children. If you have no where to go, and they still want to dress up spooky, or crazy-let them. They can still walk the dog, or walk around proudly displaying their costume. People will look, point and smile. It is still fun.
7. Some churches will have trick or treat games and fun in your neighborhood, check into that. Some even make fun houses!
8. See if you can get your neighborhood to participate in a trick or treat, if you can-do it. Set a date and time, and porch light scenario and then have fun within your own neighborhood.
9. Some Schools might have a Halloween costume dance. This is also much safer then trick or treating in an unwatched or unknown area. 

There are going to be others who can offer you more sound advice. I suggest reading it, and doing what all you can to protect your child or children. Children are our future, and they need protected.
It is a sad shame that people have ruined what used to be a fun and safe Holiday, just for the candy, and happiness of our children. It is up to you and I, to clean it back up. It starts with us, so let's get the ball rolling to make a difference.
 


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Advise: Air Fresheners for Diaper Odors

Air Fresheners for Diaper Odors

Deneale K. Williams, Yahoo Contributor Network
Jun 8, 2008

 

How embarrassing. But sadly, bodily functions cannot be avoided. However, eliminating the odor, is something we can control. Here today, a Mother to five- I am here to offer you my advise.

"Eeeewww, what is that smell?!"

 

 

For starters, as soon as the diaper is changed and ready to be thrown out, take it directly to the dumpster, out side trash can, anywhere but in the house. If you can't do it, perhaps you can have someone do it for you. And if you must keep that raunchy smelling diaper in the trash and in the house, you might want to turn the ceiling fan on. In the meantime, maybe light a few scented candles, out of reach of your child. Perhaps maybe even an in scent too. There are also sprays that they claim are now natural and better for our environment, and eliminate germs. However, some people prefer not using aerosols.

If the diaper you removed is soiled with poop, my advise if you are unable to get the diaper out of the house, go to your bathroom, and dip the diaper into the toilet and rinse the poop into it and flush. Not flushing the diaper!! With store bought diapers this is more difficult, because the diapers will continue absorbing the toilet water. This routine is best used with the cloth type diapers. To help out, you can use the handle of the toilet brush and scrape the soiled diaper into the potty. After-wards, please be sure to rinse thoroughly the toilet brush in the toilet too. Please remember NOT to flush any diapers period.

With cloth diapers, there are diaper hampers. In those diaper hampers, in the lid is where you put this scent thing, much like the scented items you hang on the inside of the toilet ring. If you cannot find these, toilet companies and hardware stores sell them, because they are often used in male urinals. These are harmful if swallowed and are eaten, please keep out of reach of children! Also, these diaper hampers are dangerous if your child attempts to climb inside, the could possibly drowned.
Another remedy for any annoying scent, is in the bottom of your trash can, or even trash bag, dump a small amount of pine-sol, into the bag or can to help fight odors.

There are air fresheners that you can now plug into outlets to help eliminate odors as well. They can't hurt. Another thing you might want to try is dumping a little bit of baking soda onto the poop inside the diaper, rolling the diaper up, making sure to thoroughly close it, and then toss it into the trash. Baking soda is supposed to absorb odors, and we all know, it works in the cat box!

An even simpler solution and less costly, open the window! If you do not get the diaper out of the house, the odor will linger, there is no way around it! Maybe you could consider putting a trash can right outside the back door, just for those nasty diapers that truly knock your socks off! LOL
The next thing to look forward to- potty training. You will be glad to be rid of those diapers, and their cost! Trust me! Good luck, diapers aren't one of my fondest memories! LOL
 
Please note: If ever you buy and use unsafe and harmful chemicals, and your child gets a hold of them, please call your local poison control center immediately. Upon transportation to the Hospital, please get in touch with your local pediatrician. You can never be too safe, all it takes is looking away once. Put all dangerous chemicals up and out of reach at all times. Any child age group, will check them out. Safety first!

Published by Deneale K. Williams

Let's Talk Sex! An Informative Question & Answer Guide

Deneale K. Williams, Yahoo Contributor Network
Aug 22, 2007

 

 

As you may have noticed, I have written articles on sexual enhancement products, so this time, I thought maybe I could answer some questions you are "afraid" to ask.... Shall we begin? Let us proceed:

Q. What are sexual enhancement products? 

They are products to help you have the best sex ever. From things like KY, to a lubricated condom, and of course, products such as those I have written about before- Barmensen's product line.

Q. Do sexual enhancement products prevent pregnancy? 

No. I advise the "pill" it is the most effective. I also advise using a condom, to prevent the transferring of any diseases, and conditions either partner might have.

Q. Do sexual enhancement products prevent the spreading of diseases? 

No. Again, I suggest using a condom at all times.

Q. Do I actually need sexual enhancement products? 

That is up to you, and your partner. They are of course not required. However, I do advise some type of lubrication, because dry sex can cause tears on the female.

Q. Are there sexual enhancement products that I can ingest?
  There are pills that you can take, Barmensen carries some, and then there are prescription drugs such as Viagra. Consult your Doctor. No everyone can take these, it all depends on how healthy you are. And as far as the lubrications being ingested, read the bottle. If it says you can ingest, than you can. If it says you cannot- then you can't.

Q. Is there a cure for sexual dysfunction? 

It all depends on the individual. I would simply advise changing your diet, health, activities, and stress. If you are on anti-depressants, this will affect your performance, both male and female. DO NOT quit taking your anti-depressants, this is very dangerous! Speak to your physician.
If you have stress, and aren't on medications, try the natural way with herbs, such as Valerian root and St. John's Wort. Also try getting a journal and writing down what is bothering you. During sex try putting on soft music, so you don't focus on things like: Did I turn the iron off.



Q. What can I do about erectile dysfunction?
  This is one of the main reasons people are inventing products like Barmensen's product line. To help you. Don't be ashamed. This is most common in the elderly, but if you have it, tell your Doctor, there could be something wrong. Maybe you have too much stress, you have been over working. There is obviously something, and telling your Doctor, he or she can help you determine your problem, and help you.

Q. What if I ejaculate too soon? 

For this I advise telling your partner, the second time will last longer, or having a private session a few hours in the bathroom alone, and discreetly, ejaculating there. The second time around will usually last longer. This too, is a problem you can share with your doctor, it is nothing to be ashamed of. When your body starts acting strange and out of the ordinary, for anything- there is a reason.
This is your body, trying to tell you to take care of a problem. Barmensen's products are made to help you with stamina, staying power, and self control. They want to help. They are trying, and keep creating new products, because every product works differently on each person. Don't be shy, try a sample, they do sell them!

Q. What if my erection won't subside? 

After four hours or longer, either call your physician or go to the hospital. That long of blood flow, can be dangerous and is not a laughing matter. Something is definitely wrong.

Q. Can women have sexual problems too? 
  Yes they can. The biggest sexual problem is lack of foreplay. Not all men feel women need it, and yes they do. Many of the women in the olden days, felt it was "there place" to put out when the man needed it. Women have needs too. And women have a hard time staying focused, their thoughts run around, remembering events, such as "Did I turn the iron off?" so soft music will help. Talk sweetly and romantically to her too.

Yes, sometimes men need foreplay, but they are more up and at them-per say, than most women. Women, just like men, when on anti-depressants can loose the desire. Work with her, help her over come it. Don't just throw her to the wolves because she acts like a dead fish, show her you love her, need her and badly want her.

Q. Is there a difference between making love and sex? 

I believe so. Sex is one person getting what one person wants, not satisfying the partner. Making love is both people in love, wanting it, needing it, and giving their all to one another.

Q. What if I want sex all of the time? 

Again, this is something you need to make your Doctor aware of. I am sure you heard the phrase, or been called a "nymphomaniac." This is a real condition, and counseling will help you put your life and needs and desires into perspective. There are other things in life, not just sex. This is a problem, and no ointment will cure this. It too, is nothing to be ashamed of.

Q. What if I don't want sex ever? 
  This too, is something you need to tell your Doctor. Something is wrong with your metabolism. They can help you, see what in wrong, because it can be trauma related, and you're blocking out why, or even something in your brain which is sending a wrong signal somewhere. This is something that requires medical attention, and is also nothing to be ashamed of.

Q. When is too soon to be having intercourse? 

Personally, I feel you shouldn't have it until you are married. But we all know, that is not a real reality in todays day and age. I don't feel people should become sexually active until they are fully aware and taught about sex, and "think" they are in love, and have truly thought long and hard about it. I had a friend in high school that always preached at me, you need to "try the man on to see if he fits."

Then I had an aunt, who literally had a spouse that when she and her husband had sex, it made her cry, he was way too big for her. So I know for a fact, this can be an issue. It is not an old wives tale.

People are different sizes, and some don't fit. Anyway-I honestly feel you should at least be eighteen, at the very least. I feel if you are having sex at nine or ten, you need to get help. I truly don't feel you should be having sex at that young of an age, let alone desires.

But, when I had my first born at nineteen, there was a little girl in the clinic, she was eight or nine, and pregnant by her own Father. I was disgusted, and her mother was there with her, allowing her to carry it to term! No!

There is time and place for everything, you will know when it is right for you, because love is a magical thing, even puppy love!

Q. Are there places in every town to report sexual abuse?
  Yes, simply call 911, or even 411, they can lead you in the right direction. If you are a child in School, go to your school counselor.

Q. What do I do if I really don't want to have sex yet, and my partner keeps pushing me? 

Tell your partner, if he can't stop his desires, you can't be with him. If you think you love him, and think he loves you, you will both respect one another's opinions. There is no rush. DO NOT suggest your partner go satisfy his needs with another!

Q. What if my partner keeps refusing to use protection? 

The same with the above statement, this person needs to respect your opinion. This is your body. Not your partners, you know what is best, and what is right. If you are a young teen perhaps going to a parent would be advised.

Q. What if it hurts every time I have sex? 

You definitely need to see a doctor. This usually means you have some kind of sexually transmitted disease, STD or something. You need checked. And you need to do it right away. If it also hurts during urination, this is also a sign. It is time for medical attention. It can also mean that your partner and you are not the right fit, you need to find out exactly what it is making you hurt.

Q. What if I get pregnant and don't want to have it? 

Go to your local planned parenthood, they will lead you in the right direction. If you don't believe in abortion, there are many of people out there who will want to adopt your baby.




Q. What if I gave birth, and don't want the baby anymore? 

There are agencies that will help you. Planned parenthood will still help in this, as will local police and fire stations allow you to drop off your unwanted baby. They claim they will do this, without pressing charges, and asking questions. But before you decide this, I would advise contacting the Father. If you don't know who he is, ask your parents, maybe they would like to raise it, or know a family member that might. This way you can still see and love your child from a distance.

Q. Can sexual partners NOT fit one another? 

Yes they can be two different sizes, and hurt. If you read everything else I wrote, you may recall the issue with my aunt and uncle. They were truly in love, and did not fit together sexually. Eventually they divorced because of this. People come in different shapes and sizes, both inside and out. This is nitrating to be ashamed of. It is very normal. Very small people, who stand 4 feet and under, are usually small inside. But not always! I am told, they can now cut the woman to make her bigger for her man. You should ask your doctor.

Q. Can you have intercourse during a yeast infection? 

That is completely and totally up to you. HOWEVER, let it be known that you can spread the infection to the man, or so my Doctor told me. So I would think it wouldn't be wise to do so.

Q. Can you have oral sex on people that have STD's? 

I wouldn't advise it. They say that they "think" that some of the diseases are not transfered through the mouth. However, if you have a cold sore, this makes you a herpes carrier, and if you have oral sex with this cold sore, you will give herpes to your significant other. I don't advise oral sex on anyone with diseases, you want to take care of yourself, that is not the proper way.

Q. How do you get yeast infections? 

Mostly through taking antibiotics. There are other ways too, this is your bodies way of throwing away an infection and or germ. My advise to you, though. If you know you are going on antibiotics, start taking the over the counter Azo yeast prevention medication during if not before. It should help.

Q. How can you treat yeast infections? 

You can buy the over the counter items in the female section of the store, and you can also douche with beta-dine. They also say eating yogurt helps. Azo has a yeast infection pill, and there are other ointments and creams, and inserts to take and do. Some for one day some for three, and some for seven, It depends on how much you want to spend, and how soon you want rid of the itchy pain.

Q. Can you douche during pregnancy? 

When I was having kids long ago they said no. But I did, because I ended up with a yeast infection, and the only way I knew how to get rid of them was with the beta-dine douche solution. It is up to you, and of course your doctor.

Q. Can you still have intercourse during pregnancy? 

Yes, in fact many doctors advise doing so. It is you and the father making love, and they say the baby feels the love, not as in touch, but emotional. If you are having complications during your pregnancy, I would suggest avoiding intercourse though.

I hope I have helped, someone. I am here if you have further questions, and would be glad to help. Please be advised, to seek professional help if you have any conditions or concerns of ANY type. Sex, and love, and sexual problems are normal, and a lot of people have them. Don't hide and hang your head in shame. Get help! Trust me you will be glad you did later, when you are cured. Live long and have sex often!

Published by Deneale K. Williams