How I Lost My Home Based Business in 1998
I was raised that Moms are supposed to be at home with their
Children. And that was what I had done, for the most part. I did work
from time to time; mostly I liked to work from home, however I had had
my share of jobs, too. But I preferred being at home, with my children,
so for the most part-that was what I had done.
In 1989, I became a Notary Public, during that time frame I was an
avid pen pal-person. I had noticed that there were pen pal publications
out, and felt that I could do that too. So I started a Newsletter, it
was called P.A.L.S. Newsletter.
The abbreviations stood for People Answering Letters Sincerely,
and pals as in pen pals. We had a copy machine, and ran the Newsletter
World wide. We had many subscribers, and people that paid for ads to run
in the Newsletter, and many writers. Amongst those writers, were my
sister Amy Lynn, and my best friend Lori Phelps.
Eventually we were able to afford a computer, so my sister, who at the
time- knew more about computers than I did, taught me. We started
advertising online and getting a new customer base too.
It was very
educational; however, the income was not something we could legitimately
live off of.
So, I decided to make a business within a business, and made Deez
Labels and we sold address labels for the most part, some business cards
too.
This had an on line MSN group, and that is where you could
physically view the graphics that we stored. Graphics were used to
decorate your labels, and if you wanted us to use your own logo, you
simply snail mailed or emailed it to us. Amy started this group for me,
and showed me the ropes.
With all of this computer stuff, in order for Amy to help me, she TOLD
me what password to use, so that she could help me from home, when and
if it was needed. She suggested I use my social security number, because it was
nine digits, which people wouldn't figure it out. She was a God send,
she might have been young, but she learned quickly, and was also
very wise!
I spent time online myself, and learned a few things, of course. I
had gotten AOL, Amy and Dad had MSN. I was also running an online
Newsletter for chatters, pen pals, and at that time- it was
called-egroups online. So, I was active and trying to help bring in
monies to help support our children.
For the most part, it was fun. Lori was only working with us from time
to time visiting. She also wrote articles in the newsletter. Amy on the other hand, spent nights
and week ends and summers with me and my family, helping, learning,
teaching, etc. I trusted her with my life, and loved spending and doing
this with her.
After our Mother died, my Father-In-Law became ill, and they were
living in Florida. I knew how terrible it is to loose a parent, and
wanted to be certain my husband was there for his Father. My Father
wasn't as fun-loving as my Mother; he wasn't much into the wanting to be
a grand parent-scenario, either. Jobs were becoming scarce in Akron, so
with all this- we decided it best, to move to Florida. This was 1998.
My sister became active with MSN groups, and chat. Or at least, that
is what I was told. She made some really great friends, and even met her
soon to be spouse there. He lived in England. She was going to go see
him, and the only thing I could think was- what if he wasn't real, would
she be killed-and would I ever see my Sister again? I was worried sick,
and told her so. She assured me everything would be OK.
That did not help. She showed me his picture, and told me his name,
but nothing else. All I could think of, was the rumors and crime, and
how people pretend to be something they aren't- to kill and hurt people.
I begged her not to go. She said to me, she had nothing better to do. I will admit to labeling him as gay- nothing more nothing less.
I had a very close Internet pen pal friend, and her name was Mary. She
talked to both Amy and I on line and off. She too, was a stay at home
Mom. One day, she called me to tell me, and I quote "I'm going to be
your sisters' brides' maid!" I liked to have fallen out of my chair. Amy
was my brides' maid; I was hoping she would return the favor. As I sat,
quietly, Mary also told me, "She doesn't want you in her wedding,
because of how fat you are. She said you're embarrassing!" Now I was
dumb founded. Crushed, in more ways than one.
Stupid me, didn't go right to Amy. I called Dad, he didn't know
anything about it, or so he pretended. I didn't even know Amy was
engaged, if she in fact was, at that time. The thoughts that raced
through my head-I was so hurt!
Once I finally got a hold of Amy, I asked why she had said such crude,
rude and hateful things. She denied everything. She did tell me she was
getting married, and was considering paying my way to England to view
the ceremony, but yes, she had decided not to have me in it. I told Amy I
didn't want her marrying someone I had never met, she told me- my
opinion didn't matter. I was still hurting. Amy tells me that I called
her fiancé names, and made crude and rude comments. Odd, though, because
I have no recollection of this. Amy has emails, which I had written,
saying these terrible things, which I couldn't say on the phone- but in
email alone. I tell her often, that I don't remember this, and she calls
me a liar, to this day.
Amy was extremely mad at me, and to get even- she deleted my MSN group
Deez Labels, and hacked into every single email account I had, and I
even mean the servers. I had AT&T at that time. She closed my paypal
account, which had money in it-that was never ever returned to me. And
she had access to my paypal, because I LET her, she needed a place to
have online monies deposited also - or so she claimed. (However, funds
never were entered by or for her. I should have put two and two together but didn't.) She accessed my AIM, my messengers, and changed
all the passwords. She would talk to people that would speak to me, in
the IM, or email, and answer for me. Many people have later told me that she said some very nasty things.
Because she of course, KNEW my passwords. She
turned everyone under the sun against me. I was no longer welcome in the
pen pal world, no one trusted me, and I was literally despised and
ruined. Then came my bank account, it was cleaned out daily. This would
cause us to be unable to pay bills. A dialer virus was attached to an
email, and then attached to my computer, and it would send my files to
Amy and Dads computers. Things were being ordered online and off, and
sent to various places, including to my sister and Fathers house. My snail
mail- to my own Father- for his birthday and Father's Day- was being sent
home to me, marked "Return to Sender-Refused!"
It had gotten so bad and so serious, that the government had to
investigate the situation. I had to sign waivers, pressing charges on
whoever gets caught. Sometimes it makes me think, though.
These emails that I had allegedly sent- WHO really sent them? Especially since no matter what I do- I can't remember SAYING
what I am told I said! But no one wants to hear what I have to say,
anyway. And if and when anyone listens, I am only told I am lying, or
that I want attention. God forbid, if I defend my own honor, or get to
say my piece, or should I say peace, which is truly appropriate here?!
My life became a complete and total mess. I was ashamed and
embarrassed. I loved my sister, and still do. I didn't want others to
know, just how much she despised me. I kept quiet for the most part.
Only my immediate family KNEW because they dealt with my tears, fears,
and sorrow. But I am not a quitter. I strive to survive, and always want
to be a success and make something of myself. So, I tried to get back
into pen palling, and no one will have me, or accept me- those that were
my so called pen pal-friends-they believed everything that was TOLD to
them. I tried to rebuild the business, and no one would deal with me. I
made new email accounts and made certain to put a block on them right
away, (my sisters' email) and NEVER use anything my sister knew, or
could figure out- as a password. I could not believe my sister hated me
this much, over a man none the less! But there is ALWAYS an excuse.
Always, and it is always my fault too! To this day, this hovers over
BOTH of our heads, haunting us, and giving us both so many regrets! My sister no longer wants anything to do with me. I have to send post cards to her, because they don't have a return address on them. I wish her happy birthday, and holiday happiness. I miss her.
Every single time my sister and I try to start over, the trust is just
not there. I can say it is, she can say it is. But it isn't. Everyone
tells me to watch my P's and Q's with her, she is depressed, she has
this wrong with her, and that. Always giving me lame excuses, sometimes
the excuses aren't lame, but why can't it ever be a two-way street?
Instead, they ALL give her the go ahead to misbehave.
No one cares, what is happening to me, what HAD
happened to me, or anything. People always assume I am strong and will
recover. Not once did anyone say to me, "How is it going," or "I'm
really sorry that had to happen to you..." All I got was, "Well, she is
having problems, so she lashes out at you!" And my ultimate favorite, is
"It isn't Amy, someone else did this, not her.
She could and would never hurt you, she loves you!" However, Amy TOLD me she did this, and WHY.
The only thing she denies is my bank account being hacked and stolen
from. But I can't honestly believe her, when it ALL happened at the same
time, and what the government found on my drive! Not to mention, when
things were being sent to her house. I mean, she does deny the items
coming, but how can I know- she's there, I'm here.
Amy and I have tried numerous times to start over. It doesn't seem to
work. And because she is up North, and a good majority of my family is
there- she has the advantages of programming them- to believe whatever
she says as true, even if it is-and even if it's not. No one ever wants
to hear my side, no one. And no one believes anything I have to say,
either. And trust me, my family once cared, and listened, and I once
mattered. But that is no longer. I'm sure you can figure out why. It is
obvious.
Yet, Amy says I program my children to hate her. They simply don't know her, they don't want to know her, and they FEAR her, after-all- they do know- EXACTLY
how she made their mom feel. Is that a good thing? No! But to children,
they care- how their mom feels. She is mad because I told my children,
because it is one sided. I had to explain why I was crying, now didn't
I? I don't lie to my children!
But, that is what she is doing up North, to ALLof
my family. No one is in contact with me, they call me mental, and they
all proudly hate me. Now tell me, Amy isn't that one sided? Yes, I know-
deny everything. Blame me. How dare I! You are doing everything to fix
this? By telling them more things, and only bad things. How is this
helping? I must obviously see things differently. Perhaps I shouldn't
care, maybe that would be a start? This is where I am getting confused.
All I have ever wanted- is a family and to live happily ever after.
And compliments of this crap- the vengeance continues. Maybe not
directly by Amy, but by her friends, and HER
family. The drama continues. Her friends post rude and hateful comments
on their social media accounts about me, she claims she has no control. Yet I am to
control my friends. I am given orders, things to obey and do, rules to
live by. But those rules don't apply to her. And she tells me, literally
tells me to respect her and not to correct her, wrong or not. This is
just not right.
She tells me she respects me, but I am not blind. Nor am I dumb, or
mental. I am quite frankly fed up. I have a life, and I have Children of
my own, and no one deserves so much hatred in their lives. No one
should have to live in fear, every time they make a wrong move, of being
hacked, TOS'ed, reported, and deleted, not to mention, PUBLICLY
humiliated. But that is EXACTLY how I have to live. I am perplexed, and
unable to make this stop. Every time I try, someone else interferes-
even her friends. And she lets them. And I DO have to watch my P's and
Q's or the wrath starts all over again. This is why, I have given up. I
have to focus on MY direct family, they are what matters now. Other than that, I put this in the Lords hands......
And to Amy- I apologize for everything and anything. Most of all, I
apologize for being your sister! We will always be flesh and blood,
there is no denying that! (However, allow me to interject here. She did a twenty-three and me test and posted that I was publicly no relation to her or anyone in our family!) Thank you, for being my sister, for putting up
with me, and loving me when you did. I am so sorry, that
OUR world fell apart. I hope you have a wonderful life! God bless you
and keep you safe! For your sake, I hope that karma doesn't exist. I
don't hold a grudge, I just live in fear, that's all. To my family up
North-thank you for supporting Amy in her time of need. I hope that you
all have wonderful lives, and that God watches over you all, and keeps
you all free from harm.
Everyone tells me to my face, and over the phone- they aren't mad at
me. They want me to email and keep in touch. When I do, I get TOS'ed. If
this is love, and this is not hatred- I am literally and truly scared
of what there REAL hatred is like, let me tell you! LOL One thing I try
to use to build myself back up though, is a phrase my mother always said
to me: "When they are bothering you-they are leaving someone
else-anyone else-alone!" I would love for them to focus on someone else
though, especially with all this-so called love. Like I said, I leave this is the Lord's hands.
When our father was ill and dying, Amy tried to keep me from seeing him in the hospital. Once I fought my way through the hoops and ladders, bells and whistles, she would not allow me to see him alone. Only Amy and I visited him. I went back home to Florida, and he died a few weeks later, just after the first of the month, so that Amy could still claim his income. My husband and I traveled as fast as we could, because Amy was running everything and seeing to it that he was put in the ground fast. Her hopes were that I would miss everything. She gave him a military funeral, something he drilled into us as children not to do. When they did the handing of the flag, they gave his flag and the bullet castings to Amy. She identified as his wife. My own siblings, and their spouses were dumbfounded.
After the funeral, Amy had my brother call me telling me to come over and visit. Here's the thing. Amy managed to get ahold of me while we were enroute to Ohio. She gave me a directive. Not to show up on her property or she would have me arrested. Our father's home, where she lived with him. Now she had my brother calling me, so that she could have me arrested. She had recorded the phone call, so it was made obvious I knew I wasn't welcome on the property. And now she was summoning me through my brother. No deal. I was not going to be put in jail where I no longer lived.
I received nothing from my father's death; I was lucky we made it there in time. The funeral home director told me that she had the police there, because I was expected to lash out. I did no such thing. My Aunt and my cousin helped to identify me as a terrorist. During his funeral, my sister acted like my father had just become a Christian on his death bed. If she would have ever paid attention, she would have heard the same stories I did. He was Methodist and sprinkled as a child. She also acted like a Nazi and did the Hi Hitler move and made everyone in the audience jump. She was loud and bellowed that Christ had forgiven him.
I miss my family. I miss what it once was. Sadly, it will never be the same. No apology can help.
I would also like to add that my sister is divorced, and her marriage in England did not last. I will not tell you why, that is her story to tell. As for me? We are still married and still living in Florida. My sister still wants nothing to do with me, and to this day, is still spreading lies and gossip.
Leave it to my sister to prove my husband right. “Family is always first to screw you.” Also? Now you know why I have trust issues.
